Year jokes
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."