Year jokes
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.
Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
Year 10 English.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.