A pedophile is sitting at a empty Poker Table. A Eight year old kid asked him if he can sit down. Pedphile says to the child sure lets play.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven year olds. The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says yay i i got me a full house.
bin laden promised 76 virgins to al-queda
instead there was one 76 year year old virgin
shaenaya is single 16 and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her hhu
I wa finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve. Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie is the second on.” Says the sad.
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. an hour later she got back home not only she lost the stranger but also her virginity.
Who would win? The laws of the catholic church which have been affective for over 900 years
one horny henry
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin??? -Filthy Frank
An 80 year old blind man ask his grandson can you grab my glasses Then the grandson say did you get in the flour again Grandpa said no it was the weed
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend... You get to meet Chris Hansen!!!
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
What does a blowjob from a 80 year old and Bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush but don't look down
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
the Parkland kids
