Year jokes

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 15 years.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.