Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Suck your mum's bum.
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
Ya momma is sus.
