Wordplay jokes
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.