Wordplay jokes
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
Logan Taub has a BBC, Big Butt Chin!
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Memes
Saint Niggalas
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
No eye deer.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Do you know what SAWCON is?
SAWCON deez nuts.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."