Wordplay jokes
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.