Wordplay jokes
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.