Wordplay jokes
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
I like...
Wendy's.
"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.