Wordplay jokes
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Memes
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!