Wordplay jokes
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Memes
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
Logan Taub has a BBC, Big Butt Chin!
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."