Wordplay jokes
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Memes
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)