Wordplay jokes

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

911, what's your emergency?

Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.

Well, it's not a living room anymore.

Me: Hangs up.

Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses

There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"