Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?
Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?
Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
