Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Word Jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
You're mum.
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
"Kaka" means poop so... use "kaka" in your jokes rather than "poop." It is more funny. KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAAKAK
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Jack
I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.
Pulp is a palindrome.
. --... -. -...--.
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
You soak balls, get it?
What were Steven Hawking’s last words?
ERROR 101.
What's the opposite of Jason?
Jasister.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.