Word jokes
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Memes
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family?
(There is no F in orphan.)
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.
The "f" in orphan stands for family.... wait a minute!
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
You know, "f" in orphan stands for family.
Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.
Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*
Did you know that the "F" in orphan stands for family?
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
