So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
Word Jokes
What do gasses and asses have in common? They both have asses in them!
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
You add words = bullshit.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
"Why did my name start with an L? Because it is lips, lol."
"Kaka" means poop so... use "kaka" in your jokes rather than "poop." It is more funny. KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAAKAK
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.
The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
What goes after the butt?
The POST-erior.
So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).
A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
