Woman jokes

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."

Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.

I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

Men: "I like dogs."

Women: "I like cats."

Chinese: "Food is food."

What do guns and women have in common?

They both get cocked and loaded.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.