Woman jokes

You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they can't change anything.

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Which word is also called for women's prison?

"Pridaughter."

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

My brother when he sees a girl.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”