Woman jokes
What's the difference between a rock and a woman?
The flat ones get skipped.
What would the world be like without women?
A pain in the ass.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No.
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?
Femoids.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.