Woman

Woman jokes

Sex

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

Guy

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

Park Bench

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

Sex

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

Memes

Wheelchair

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.

A yellow sign with black stripes. It says "Attention" at the top, followed by "Husband and wheelchair missing!" and "Reward for wheelchair". At the bottom there is small print "follow me on Instagram for more @goingonectwicesold".

Ball

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

Lawsuit

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

Roll

Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.

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  • Sex

    Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

    Woman: No, really?

    Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

    Dentist

    "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

    He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

    Eye

    What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.

    Man

    Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.