Woman

Woman jokes

Kid

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

Relationship

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

Memes

Wheelchair

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.

A yellow sign with black stripes. It says "Attention" at the top, followed by "Husband and wheelchair missing!" and "Reward for wheelchair". At the bottom there is small print "follow me on Instagram for more @goingonectwicesold".

Abortion

Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.

Baker

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

Cheater

What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?

Cheater, cheater, woman beater!

Pub

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

Man

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

Sex

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

Guy

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

Park Bench

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

Sex

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

Ball

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

Lawsuit

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”