Winter

Winter Jokes

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You canā€™t come in, youā€™ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothingā€™s been canceled." Kili: "Thatā€™s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "Itā€™s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, itā€™s been in the family for years. Thatā€™s my motherā€™s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, KiĀ­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Letā€™s shove this in the hole, or otherwise weā€™ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. Thereā€™s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! Thereā€™s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockheadā€™s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

On a winter day many play.

Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. ā€œThere are no fish under the ice!ā€

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: ā€œThere are no fish under the ice!ā€

He nervously looks up and asks, ā€œLord? Is that you?ā€

ā€œNo, this is the rink manager!ā€

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!