Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You canāt come in, youāve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothingās been canceled." Kili: "Thatās a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "Itās nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, itās been in the family for years. Thatās my motherās glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, KiĀli, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Letās shove this in the hole, or otherwise weāll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. Thereās nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! Thereās far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockheadās idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. āThere are no fish under the ice!ā
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: āThere are no fish under the ice!ā
He nervously looks up and asks, āLord? Is that you?ā
āNo, this is the rink manager!ā
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
