Windows jokes
Knock knock. Hus dare? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the window and you'll see.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What's the difference between a blind man and a window?
The window can see through itself.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?
A: "Free Fallin'"
Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.
Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.