Will jokes

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."

"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.

"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.