Will jokes
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.