Why jokes

Heaven

Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.

Internet

Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

It’s because they can’t find home plate.

Orphan

Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?

Because they couldn’t call his parents!

Cow

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the “utter” side.

Depression

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

Sex

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

EpiPen

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

Wife

Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?

'Cause she can't watch her mouth.

Hell

Why are most West Virginians going to hell?

Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.

Skeleton

Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.

Chicken

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!