Why jokes

Vegetable

67 views ·

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

Santa

16 views ·

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*

Road

Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.

Boyfriend

1 view ·

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

Candy

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

Beef

5 views ·

Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?

'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?

Depression

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

Sister

1 view ·

A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.