Why jokes
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Memes
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.