Why jokes
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.