Why jokes
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Memes
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?