Why jokes
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They always come back.
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
Why did the orphan want to go to jail?
So he could have a home and be cared for with food.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"