Why jokes
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
This definitely works
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?
Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.
Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.