Why jokes
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
Memes
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.