Why jokes
Why is America so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die.
"After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families."
This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio.
"There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers."
Some of the tribal members begin walking by, displaying various implements of war and death.
The first explorer chose a crusty-looking musket. Thankfully, the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss.
The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat.
Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen.
The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought.
After a few moments, the chieftain said, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..."
"Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted?
Baffled, the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink.
When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear.
Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink.
Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper, and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..."
Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso, nib first, again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle.
Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word.
"But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked.
Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
Bestfriend meme
Why did the joke cross the street?
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
Why do orphans hate the letter F?
Because the F stands for the family that didn't want them.
Why do Indian men marry fat women? Because they worship cows.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Why can't Biden play chess?
Because he doesn't have the towers.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...