Why jokes

One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"

The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."

A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"

The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."

Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

Why did my boyfriend leave me?

Because he's gay.

But why did he come back to me?

Because I'm actually a guy :-)

A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"

The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"

The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."

The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"

The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"

Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?

A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"

-not my joke

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?

Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!

Why are disabled people screwed?

Because you can't run or hide!

Banker: I have the right to take your money!

Me: Check my name.

Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?

Banker: *realizes*

Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.

Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?

Because they blow up in your face.

Why do some couples go to the gym together?

Because they want their relationship to work out.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he had "no-body" to go with.

If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

He got the gas bill.