Why jokes
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Memes
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?