Why jokes
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
Memes
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.