Why jokes

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

Why is there A/C in hospitals?

So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.

God- make a grumpy old man president.

Angel- why?

G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

A- okay.

G- make him not pay taxes.

A- okay...

Fast forward to 2020

G- you know that grumpy old man?

A- yea...

G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

A- Krona.

G- exactly.

A- why do you hate humans so much?

G- because I can.

Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?

A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.

Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?

To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.

Why can't orphans sign up for sports?

They have to have a parent's signature.