Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane? Osmoses.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? Neither one of them, they eat out
What does a white person say when there Surrounded by black guys? "hey who turned the lights out?!"
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
What do you call it when a bunch a guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgang-bang.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans who else would add gas
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately he lost his case.
Two Italian men get on a bus...
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabiled gay white male who workout at the gym that is a bukkake slut and a physically disabiled gay white male who workout at the gym that is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy? Answer: a Carnivwhore
If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.
Theres only 3 types of people the ones who can count and the ones that cant
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels
Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself. ", Well I hope Ur hungry I replied, cos they cut off my electric this morning"
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
