Whole jokes

All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.

I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"

I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.

That face needing some laughing pills.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.

Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

I suck poop in my butthole, aka porn.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.

The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.

Why are people in Japan always skinny?

Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.

What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

One makes your day and one makes your whole week.