Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
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What does "the whole pile of poops" mean?
"The whole pile of shits."
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes? Because there fun for the whole family to hear.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
the toothbrush Says'' i have the worst job in the whole world''. the toilet paper behind him''yeah right''.
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there
