Wheres

Wheres jokes

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Dog

  • A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

    The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

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  • Kid

  • Kid: Where do I put this paper?

    Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

    Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

    Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

    Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

    Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

    Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

    Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

    Kid: Yes, you told me to!

    Teacher: I meant at school!

    Kid: Ohhhhhh!

    Teacher: Duh!

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    Peter Pan

  • Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

    Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

    Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

    How do trees access the internet? They log in.

    Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

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    Orphan

  • Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

    I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

    Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

    Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

    Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

    Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

    If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

    If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

    Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

    What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

    Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

    What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

    Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

    Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

    What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

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    House

  • If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

    In Washington D.C.

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    Position

  • "Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

    Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

    Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

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  • Orphan

  • Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

    'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

    Bathroom

  • Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

    Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

    Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

    Teacher: Where’s the P?

    Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

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    Game

  • There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

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