Wheres jokes
Where did the king put his armies?
In his sleevies.
Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
Where do orphans go to celebrate graduation?
Their parents.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"