When jokes

What time is it when you say "bad day?"

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

What happens when two walls meet?

They are cornered.

What happens when the terminator pees?

Gasoline descent.

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?

"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

He has no home to hit to.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.