When jokes

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.

What's brown and white with red all over?

Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

What did the retard say when the water too deep?

"Deep deep."

Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?

A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.

What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"

Because they have no mom.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.