When jokes
When is Donald Trump?
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby?
One makes you cry when you cut it up.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?