When jokes
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
I hate cereal, lol.
What I say when I eat cereal: "Ewww!"
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.