When jokes

Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

When the drip is sus.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."

The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.

My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.

Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.

Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3

What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?

He became spotless!!!

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.