When jokes
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said... "Error!"
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!