Whats jokes
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trom-bone 😂
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs ;)
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."