Whats jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
Memes
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on Juan.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.