What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
Whats Jokes
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
What is a "dad?"
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
