Whats jokes
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."