Whats jokes
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.
What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.