Whats jokes
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
The mistletoaster
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”
And vanished.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
What is the gassiest planet? Uranus.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
What is your name in my phone?
I love your house. I have been in your art for.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"