Whats jokes
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
what is the fastest country? iran.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
Memes
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.