What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Whats Jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
what is the fastest country? iran.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
