Whats jokes
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.