Whats jokes
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Stop bullying orphans!
What if they tell their parents?
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?
If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"