Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
Whats Jokes
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?
Yo mama can be found on Google maps.
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
The bomb.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
