Whats

Whats Jokes

Dog

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

Turkey

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?

I only stuff the turkey.

Autism

If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?

Dinosaur

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed!

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield!

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

Priest

What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?

A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.

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  • Ancestry.com

    I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

    She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

    Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

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  • Homophobe

    What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?

    Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D

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  • Terrorist

    What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?

    "Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"

    American

    What is the difference between an American and a computer?

    An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.