Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
Whats Jokes
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair đŚ˝
Whatâs a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog đ? Today is the night I can drive.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men sheâd had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed sheâs holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said thatâs my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesnât talk to him anymore because he had sex with the bossâs daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said thatâs the last time I use ancestry.com!
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesnât have trouble shooting.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.