Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
Whats Jokes
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
