Whats jokes

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?

When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

What's the difference between a pizza & a person?

A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...

What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.

What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.

What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?

Angel food cake! 🎂🥳

What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his butt.

What do you call someone with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?

"Cheetah, cheetah!"

I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."

The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.

My mom told me to get a job, so I did.

One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.

My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?

I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."