Whats jokes
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Family Guy."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What did the Indian person say to the lady?
"Curry up, will you?"
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?