Whats jokes
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.