Whats jokes
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
Memes
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
I hate my life.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.