Whats jokes
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Memes
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.