Whats jokes
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
Memes
Me when I see a bug flying my way " Omg what is that " lmao
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.