Whats jokes
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?