Whats jokes
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
Memes
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."