Whats jokes
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Memes
They knew what they were doing
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.