A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey's F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN'T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH PORN DON'T YOU??!!!!!!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman
They're both accidents
What do u call a depressed person
Me
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
U Can't Touch Kids
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling Onions!
what do blind kids and orphans have in common? neither can see their parents
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common? Icy dead people
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
what’s the yellow but can’t swim
a bus full of children
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back
A orphans parents
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
What do you say to a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
What is red and looks like a zebra
my arm Hehhehehehe UwU
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What is red and tan and spins for about 50mph??
A baby in a blender
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock Knock...
Who' there?
Not your parents
