Whats jokes
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.