Whats jokes
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Memes
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.