Whats jokes
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Memes
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.