Whats jokes

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

What's the worst thing to star in?

An amber alert.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...

Let the bodies hit the floor.

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross-country!!!

What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang...

What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

I don't care if she has either.

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?

A Catholic priest.

what do you call a retard smoking weed?

a baked potato.

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...

What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

Me: I have lost it.

Random: Lost what?

Me: My will to live.