Whats jokes

What's a lesbian's favorite candy?

Licorice.

What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.

Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?

A: An Epstein pen.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.

What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?

A joint in each hand.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

Strong to the finish.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.

What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?

Foster’s.

What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?

One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"

The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."

What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One kneels for salvation.

The other kneels with salivation.

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One reads, the other breeds.

What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?

A period.

What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Your job still sucks!

What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?

Leaving, walking.

Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"

Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"

What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One is glowing and the other is blowing.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜