Whats jokes
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
Memes
Hahaha now what overlord should i kill next
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.